Okay. So next summer, I need to remember to set my sights even lower. For some reason, I figured that all of the amazing growth, the incredible year we had in kindergarten, would just continue into and throughout summer. I was not completely mistaken, but I had forgotten just how busy life in summer can be.
And this year there were three of them.
Penny is learning to walk. She still scoots rather than crawls around on the floor, quite effectively and happily. But now she is also pulling up on everything and working on walking while leaning or holding onto whatever is nearby. It won’t be long now.
She is also learning how to talk. This is amazing, and she mimics sounds that she hears as well as trying to make her own sounds for things. The boys were never this vocal as babies. She said “Mum,” for hours the other day, and is very close to da-da. It’s so fun, so special.
And oh my goodness. It’s so loud.
Apparently she has learned that talking is loud.
We are so loud.
Jake is loud. He has no volume control despite years of us trying to coach him to be quieter, softer, use his indoor voice, turn down the volume, etc. He just can’t help it. Now we know that he has auditory sensory processing issues, he hears everything at the same volume, and he can’t hear the difference in his own voice. So he’s loud. Okay. He’s loud and autistic.
Aiden is loud. Aiden was not always loud. And certainly, in a crowd he’s often almost silent. But here at home, that kid is loud. He wakes up loud. He plays loud. When he’s happy or excited, he shrieks and screams.
I get it. Kids can be noisy. And kids can be loud. I love happy sounds.
We are loud happy.
We are also loud angry.
And loud tired. And loud hungry. Loud when we are trying to have a conversation and our kids are loud. Oh. My poor husband. He isn’t loud by nature. He’s quiet. If anything, he hears too clearly, too sensitively. Sometimes even he is loud.
And so, Penny is getting loud. She really just thinks that is how it is done. And I guess, in our family, it is.
So here we are, all together, the five of us, for the whole summer. The noise is a little insane sometimes. Okay, so the noise is a little insane almost all the time. I wasn’t prepared. How do you prepare for that? Try to take more two minute quiet breaks? Try to store up peaceful thoughts to prevent joining in with the screaming? I am naturally loud, I know, and I want to help bring down this noise. It’s difficult.
I whisper, hoping they come down to my level. I yell, hoping to show them how loud they are, or how loud I too can be. I use body language. Well, that’s just useless.
Maybe I need more signs that I can hold up. Something like a red light, green light, only I would only ever use the red light. I’d be waving my red light around, hoping the kids would pay attention and remember that it means they need to quiet down. Right.
I am so looking forward to the start of school. I need the quiet. Summer is nuts! I know my dear husband can’t wait to get back to his classroom full of teenagers, because there they are quieter than here! So funny.
I am trying to live in this moment. Love this noise and these kids and this insanity without wishing it were calmer, quieter, or September. I’m doing alright at it, most days. But I have found that my calm and my presence in the moment is short lived. I need to work on it so I can stay here and enjoy it, even when it drags on and on and on.